INTRODUCTION TO LOVE STORY
It all started
as it starts with teenagers who see life in a broad and optimistic point in
view. In no date or account could I remember vividly how it all happened, but as my mind couldn’t escape the worries nor put aside the curiosity in the
society then, I launched my first start.
When mine started, it was like I won lotto and all my scopes
were considered best; all my say, though now said was regarded as indeed the
gods have spoken…sweetest were they called!!!. I met this girl on that day, the
exact am not sure but among those days in February I can boast and say. In no
Ocean of love have I found myself but my mind seeks a shore from my long days
search for prey. I never understood how it would be because none had I seen nor
experienced but I believed the words of Shakespeare and Donne would resist my
pitfall. Indeed, I told her the best words I could, sang to her, and gave her
good wishes even before nightfall. I looked at the Moon for her and told her
where to put her head at night. I said “babe, don’t worry, I will always be
watching even in your dreamland…” She would smile and promise to love me ‘forever’
but it baffles me each time I hear her say ‘forever’. After some months, I
began to have a sense of grief and dismay and refused to make myself available
as I usually dare. When she would call me or spend all time checking my wall on
what I was thinking and probably doing, I would be there doing the rough jobs
that guys call ‘parole’. Though, I was not that bad but I didn’t care as I
would claim or should be… I messed up. After a few days, she called me on my
cell, and though I was glad she called because I had the impression of not breaking
the silence before she did…but it was another story entirely as she sounded
like the whole world was blunt and as if nothing good could come out of
Jerusalem except Jesus the Nazarene. She arranged a meeting which I turned
down. Three days after this, I received a message in which she asked for a
break because she claimed to be tired of the relationship. As for me, “I don’t
care!!! I don’t bloody care!!!” ; I said. I did nothing about the message.
My call story hasn’t been said, all
these are tips that I had had before my heart finally met a no go area for the
king’s servant and you know, the king’s message should be properly delivered.
Presently, as my pen is given life and chances for an ovation, my hind hasn’t
been caught nor has any sign of good fortune. I won’t call mine a love story because
I had never had one but I will leave you to your say. After some months, I and
Nicky finally resolved our worries and for some months also, chose to make our
relationship friendship and no strings attached to it. This time around, I was
very justified because the relationship was no more love but force. I began to
enjoy my life; after all, a good single is better than a bad couple. I enjoyed
doing what I had been doing before I met her.
I continued in my search for
survival and made up my thoughts not to fall for lust or any of such, though it
was like I forbade my tongue from the taste of sugar and sweet, but I believed ‘what
is made for Jerry, Tom could only dare but not care’. Days passed; seconds fast
in my grief and anguish, still I lived an empty Tomb and longed for a chance to
renew my firmness among my friends. I had never seen myself as a loser neither
had I thought of an end to my wants. Every day, I would think of my ought to
have done during my first date and how lovely it was like when I swore by no
law of Moses to abide with her even when all was not right. I even promised the
entire world to her… Hmm! I lied a mile. As my reasons were now unfeasible and
intangible, I believed (though now I am unable) that if a goat would eat from a
zone, no number of stones could send it away, so if Nicky was for me, she will
come to me.
In a jiffy, my fame lost it stay. I was
regarded as a less concerned and left to dwell in agony of mockery. My mind was
free and the world to me was good, the future- bright. Now, I was less
concerned with true love and would believe such could only be seen in Indian movies
and in words of Shakespeare. Anyway, on one church day when noon was near,
morning shed far away, my story was about to be given a new look and firm
adherence when a bird who had neither wings nor feathers to fly called me to
the notice of a prey- fresh one. I was delighted and saddened when I was
challenged to be ignorant of the moves towards me and the bird who breathes the
breath of man also made me know of a vine who awaits my yard to have life. So,
someone under this broad umbrella could long to hear my tamed voice; indeed I
was happy. I looked at the mirror more than ten times on that day and believed
my time had come as it came for the Israelites in those days. I refused to take
my lunch because no space would be less able to bear the Amala and Efo. I was
thinking of how to launch my first start; I thought of it all night. I was
unable to write poems as I usually cherish as my wish was now for that in film.
I thought of love, I told myself that if the Moon only comes at night and Sun
in the day, no force of human nature could stop me from getting this prey. I lured
my nerves to the winds that blew ease to my worries and moved to the perch that
befits my eager.
Sometimes in the month of July
when the goats were asleep, Bats alone could see from afar how curious my nerves
were; how eager I was to hear the calling voice of the set that bore my love. I
called her on phone and it was like heaven was about to fall when she asked me
‘how are you?’ and immediately, without a scratch or touch, the network went
off. My nerves let me down; I was stranded with emotions, engraved to the bunch
of fear. My heartbeat increased by half and of unaccounted degree was my joy
turned grief. I was amazed at getting right what the bird brought to me. Indeed,
she cared. How could she have gotten my number? Love in the heart of a mad man
can make him half well. She might have gone for it elsewhere, maybe from a bird
I care not, but so far that it would favour me and bring me back on list then
it would be well. Indeed it was well, even more well than you can ever imagine.
We began the relationship and I was not really satisfied again with the breeze
which my mind brought towards my concern. She had loved me even before Christ’s
birth, but how would I have known because I was busy with nothing, engaged in
play things and cared for rubbish. She said, she never believed that I could be
for her and that I in her life was the best thing that ever happened to her. I
was astonished by the words from her tongue; I began to feel like a king and
paid less attention to mirror for it could only bring wrath and fear to my
settled soul. We engaged in lovers’ talk but every time I was with her; talking
to her, I felt like a traitor who has found another city to let down, like a
Cain who plans for Abel, I was never comfortable. Though, as at the time I
sought my pen, she was still with me, but I knew truly in me that my hunt still
remained more nights of search, though she had much of what I cared about, but
I never saw my love in her. I continued in it and played safe.
On the 12th of September,
when I was about to log out from my social internet play which had brought
nothing less than an old man tame to my seeing, I added this friend who paved
way for my writings, gave me a wandering mind and also; chaos thoughts. My
writings could breed as a result of my frights and uncultured nerves but I beseech
you my reader to take it as it’s, not as a pauper who seeks hope from gestures
but as a victim to my pathetic circumstances. I was not happy and neither was I
so sad before it clocked midnight when most mortal men were on their second
trip to dreamland. I usually sleep late; I got that in my secondary school
where we would do competitions on who stayed long into the night. Today, I know
that you can only get your wish done in your mind; it would be hard to get it
done in reality. Hardly had I really wished for love because I had been with ‘correct
bad guys’, who had taught me to have no sense of remorse, but to explore every
glitter vine as Crusoe would do. So, I
was taught to be a predator who hunts for lust.
Then, I met this girl; I checked her
profile as I would do if a prey has been caught, but it amused me what my nest
brought to my sea- storm. When I set my wandering eye on her picture, it was
like the world could not define my state. I was lifeless and full of hope; no
thesaurus spell could say fully how fast my heart beat rose, without considering
how much blood could be lost. I took a deep
breath and with no hesitant thought, I said to her; “I think I know you”,
though, she gave me a response that was not necessary to my claims, but they
were of good notion to my hearing. I did not have the best of sleep that night
after I waved her night, but indeed my night was full of hope and a wandering
mind. If I should tell you how it all went, with date and time, my short story
would seek extra sheets. But, to the best of my discretion, I would say my
mind.
When I woke up the next day, I
felt so fulfilled, refined and very upright because I was so sound and happy.
As time passed, I began to have picture of how it all went, how I said “HI” and
her favourable reply which gave me life and a trend of joy. I checked her
profile a thousand times to see if I would ask how her night went, but I began
to adapt to asking how her day was, because I never got her so early. When my
worries began to let me down, I told a friend about my feelings for her and he
told me to stop wasting my counts; “maybe she does not even like you”, my
friend would say. After various advices from my wishes, I planned to let her
know my feelings and how successful she had been in giving me a sleepless night
and a wandering thought. Though, I knew this would not be easy but, I fear how
long my foot could cleave the ground. My first plan wasn’t successful because
of my fears and high nerves but at my second try, I did it. I made up my mind
to let her know my feelings and then, I said all I could say while my eyes were
closed and my legs shaking. Though it was not a face to face conversation, I
was really in love with her to the extent that I was scared of what could come
out from her mouth. For two minutes, she didn’t reply me. Immediately, I was
cold and unsettled for my curiosity was killing, my anxiety over ran my soul.
She sounded indifferent towards my say and as I pressed on, she almost gave me
a heart attack when she said she would yield to my say in afterlife. I wept in
my heart and was very sad all night, but I had prepared for the worst so I let
go of it. From then, each time I said something about my feelings for her, she
would say: “Excuse me, feelings or whatever you call it, I don’t have the same.
OK?” This really killed my morale. In the morning, I checked the mirror more
often and brushed my hair to the best style but still, she was not attracted. I
even got some help from her friends; nothing good came out of it. I began to
lose hope and stand, but I remembered the wise saying that, “nothing good comes
so easy”. Therefore, I kept it in mind to have a break from my toast; I asked
for meetings which she never approved; she claimed to be busy all day. If I
could write Solomon’s songs and preach the words of Shakespeare, maybe she
would be mine. I tried my best possible; all vain, nothing to impress her for
she was so hard to study. Maybe she might love me; I said, to give myself hope.
Love my foot, no love at all. She sometimes ignored my messages and I believed
she had decided not to speak to me. I summoned courage, tried to get her off my
mind but each time I tried, she always came back. She is just too beautiful,
gorgeous, alluring and ever captivating my mind, but she didn’t hear me out for
once, not even a chance.
I moved close to her friends, read
at the same place she would be just for me to see my love being. The only best
time I had with her was to exchange pleasantries, and nothing more. Nothing so
important had happened to me in the past years, but to fall in love with her
which has not been returned.
Now you could deduce why I said I
never had a love story, not even once. For all that I had been in were lust,
force and oughts. To be frank with you, I am a nobody who bears the cross of
many bodies. My story is not real but my dates, times and emotions are real.
What more could I write of? For what I cherished didn’t merit my credits. No
matter the cost, time, pain, money and everything it could bid, my love for her
is ideal and real just as Shakespeare writes in sonnet 116, lines 2-3: “Admit impediments. Love is not love which
alters when it alliteration finds.”
What baffles me more is this: I was loved by
many, some wanted my cross, and just as the time came for my long search to
assume end, it was just another story begun. Indeed, life is a misery. What
goes around always comes around, nemesis called on me.
ST.TITUS
